Beer Bread (Three Recipes!)

I love baking, and I'm not sure many people understand, but to me, baking is my act of love. It's equivalent to me saying "I love you" or "I really want to be liked by you (no , not "like like" -I'm a six year old little girl on the inside haha) or "please be my friend"

So it truly hurts like a slap in the face when I bake something and it goes unnoticed or the cookies/muffins/loaf of bread is stowed away in a small corner of the table to be forgotten.

Please, please remember us bakers/cooks when you next go to someone's party and a person made something yummy from scratch, that we are giving our souls to those around us. Please take the piece of pie even if you're on a diet or you are allergic to wheat or vanilla frosting. Secretly dispose of the food in the trash when the baker/cook isn't looking.

I'm serious. Just take the cake politely and tell them how f-ing delicious it is.

Here's a recipe that is sooooooo easy. So easy. If you want just the basics, it is only 5 ingredients.



BEER BREAD!

Beer... in bread? WTF? Honestly, it doesn't taste like beer, but there is a certain yeasty/hoppy flavor. And while I used a very light beer (Lone Star Light), you can experiment with any beer. No, please dont' start to ask me about flavors cause I while I love beer, I have no knowledge of hops, malts, yeasts, grains, yada yada. I usually just use what is in my fridge.


I will include three versions, Cheesy Beer Bread, Sweet Beer Bread, and Basic Beer Bread. The options/add ins are infinite; it is up to you.

First:


The Basic Recipe (with no fuss)

All these recipes are for 1 8" loaf, though I often cut the amounts in half and end up with a smaller 8" loaf that isn't very tall but just as tasty.

3 cups AP flour
1 TBL baking powder
1 TBL sweetener (honey, sugar, brown sugar, agave)
1 tsp salt
12 ounces beer, preferably NOT flat

Mix dry ingredients first, then add beer. Stir, but don't over stir, and plop into a greased 8" loaf pan. Bake at 375 degrees for 45-60 minutes. Maybe 5-10 minutes more if it is not done when you stick a knife/toothpick in and it comes out still gooey.

Optional : At about 30 minutes, brush the top of the loaf with an egg wash to make it nice and pretty.

Second: The Sweet Beer Bread

3 cups AP flour
1 TBL baking powder
1/3 cup sweetener (honey, sugar, brown sugar, agave), I usually use brown suga' so I can sing with the Rolling Stones while I bake.
1 tsp salt
12 ounces beer, preferably NOT flat

Mix dry ingredients first, then add beer. Stir, but don't over stir, and plop into a greased 8" loaf pan.

Before you place in oven, top the dough with 1-2 TBL spoons of sugar. Bake at 375 degrees for 45-60 minutes, or until tester comes out clean of raw/gooey dough.
Cool on counter.

Finally, the recipe I made last night so I have photos!

The Cheesy Beer Bread

3 cups AP flour
1 TBL baking powder
1 TBL sweetener (honey, sugar, brown sugar, agave)
1 tsp salt
1/2 TBL dried herbs or 2 TBL FRESH chopped herbs. I used dill.
1 cup grated cheese- I used cheddar so the bread will have a bite
12 ounces beer, preferably NOT flat

los ingredientos

Mix the dry ingredients, including cheese, which I didn't show.

Pour in la cerveza!!!

Mix everything, But DON'T over mix!! You don't want tough bread! I was hesitant to add this photo cause it looks like vomit. OH well.

Plop into greased 8" pan.

45 minutes, at 375 degrees (It was still raw in the middle at 45 minutes so I timed it for another 15 minutes. It actually could have gone probably yet another 10 minutes or so after that...When I cut it, it was kinda gummy, but in a good way.)

yum. Now you have to let it cool...which I didn't and I savored every single bite.

And my second favorite part about Lonestar-the first being I like the taste-is this:

The puzzles on the caps! (alien hands, sorry mis manos were wet)

I hope you make this because like I said, in the basic form, it is only FIVE INGREDIENTS for BREAD!! how cool and delicious!

-tha angry teacher

How to Conduct a Proper Parent Conference

No, this is not a parent conference based on my lack of proper dress last week…

It’s just that I have a student, let’s call her Tasha, that has an attitude problem and a laziness problem. She is one of my Pre-AP students, and well, laziness is not an option in advanced English.

I’ve outlined the steps to a great/successful parent-teacher conference below.

1.      Make sure you have documentation of some sort about the child’s behavior/grades/attitude in class. This could be positive or negative remarks, copies of their work, and a printed out grade book.

2.      Call parents, duh.

3.      Politely inform them of their child’s strengths, then go on to rant about how awful and disrespectful the brat is and question the mom/dad’s parenting skills. Okay, DON’T do that. Instead, use a very concerned voice, describe in detail the problem, calmly, politely, and with as less of a condescending tone as possible. This is the critical time when you can either make an enemy of the parent or a comrade.

4.      Schedule a time that works for both you and the parent, and the student. You are going to want to bring the child in so that you can have a face to face chat with all parties.

5.      During the conference, sit at a student’s desk instead of behind your big imposing scary teacher desk. Make parents comfortable and try not to be rude or angry. Hopefully, THEY won’t be angry/rude either.

6.      Your discussion with the parents should basically repeat what you said on the phone to start with. Also, please remember that some parents don’t have all their brain cells, therefore cut them some slack, like when they say things such as, “Well, I try to make him do homework, but he just goes on home and firs’ thing his on tha xbox playin fer 2 'ours”

Obviously the lovely parents are part of the problem.

Also, you have to mention something positive about the kid, no matter what. Lie through your teeth if you must. In Tasha's case, she is actually a very intelligent girl, and I told her parents that straight up. 

7.   This is a must, you MUST have a conversation about how the student will improve, otherwise what’s the freaking point of the conference? Make sure you document what the parents said and what the solution to the problem was.

8.      Say bye, and hope that possibly, the kid gets a spanking when they get home, not an extra hour on the X-Box. 

Tasha’s conference turned out really well, I had two other teachers in the room with me, Tasha’s mom, mom’s boyfriend, and Tasha herself. The parents were super supportive and told me that her attitude would be very different than what it is now. So far, since Monday, it has been.

I also heard today that Tasha’s behind was sore on Tuesday because she got a spanking. Ha, I laughed when I heard that. I sound mean don’t I?

I am the angry teacher after all.

Parent Nite

I thought it would be a GREAT idea to go to the gym after work, do a short HIIT workout (I'm talking 20 minutes max) and then dash back to school for Parent-Teacher Night. HAHA

I'm laughing at my own stupidity.

3:45 PM bell rings, students leave, I rush to lounge to eat a quick snack

4:00 PM Photography Club starts (which I and another teacher sponsor)

4:45 PM Club meeting ends. It is announced that report cards are in our boxes to be picked up for tonight. Leave to gym thinking there will be plenty of time to pick up report cards later because no parent is EVER on time anyways

4:55 PM arrive at gym, change and hit the treadmill

5:23 PM change back into professional clothes, except for a decent shirt. I'm still wearing a tank top and my sweater is IN MY CLASSROOM. Shit.

5:30 PM I walk into the building, innocently assuming that no normal parent is going to show up exactly when Parent-Teacher Night is supposed to begin. I'm wrong.

5:31 PM Realize I have a dad and son waiting to pick up a report card for their son/brother. They seem shocked as me that I am in a tight tank top doing my best to hide my tattoo.

5:32 PM Realize I don't even have the report cards in my room.

5:33 PM Grab my sweater,get dressed decently, and rush down the hall looking completely paniced, red in the face, sweat still clinging to my hair to get the RC from my box

5:35 PM When I get back to my classroom, TWO MORE parents are waiting for me. what the hell? Who asked you to be on time? Not me!

5:45 PM Another teacher asks if I'm alright. Know that they will talk about me behind my back tomorrow.

6:30 PM Go home and expect to be asked tomorrow by students about tattoos and expect phone calls from concerned parents about teachers who are indecently dressed.


-tha angry teacher

"Facebook"

I love my little darlings, especially when they do things like this.

 <---- I love that they even added a "Chat" log...how cute

Lesson Plan on Symbolism

Here's a lesson on symbolism:

Day one: introduce the definition and concept of symbols. give examples. discuss other symbols in life that students might know. ex: colors, flowers, sun, darkness, light, olive tree, dove, water, white flag, American flag...etc

Students must then create a symbol than represents their self. They can't use a sports ball because that's easy/boring. Yep, I tell them to their face that it's boring.

They get the rest of the class period to draw their symbol and write a paragraph telling me what the symbol is and why they chose it.

Day Two: finish drawings/paragraphs

Day three: present to class, clap, say "Oh how nice." and "Yes, your smiley face is beautiful. I see you copied it from a magazine..." and yada yada

Okay that was all prep so that when we read The Giver next quarter, I can ask about symbolism in the novel and what those objects/actions/people represent. With my advanced kids, it's possible to have a lengthy discussion on different symbols. With the lower level learners, it's not. They get the idea but not the purpose or idea behind symbolism. Wow, again that sounds...cruel? If anyone knows different ways to teach symbolism, please, please let me know.

on accomodations in the classroom

As teachers, we have students in every class (even Advanced classes) that have learning disabilities, dyslexia, emotion problems than interfere with school, and mental illnesses. It's a struggle to plan lessons that differentiate between low level students and high performing students. Thank God that this year I have less of a problem with this because 3 of my 5 classes are Pre-AP and the other two are "Regular".

Last year, my first year of teaching (as they say in East Texas, "God Bless my Soul"), I had high, high students in the same class period as my lowest low kids. That was a hard class. Ugh I pretty much hated them...the rotten little stinkers...and they knew it. I have reasons though, and back to lesson planning for such different intelligence levels; there was no way that I could plan a lesson that would interact with the "smart" students and keep them engaged while also reaching the "low" students so they could understand what the hell I was talking about. Chaos ensued. My smartie pants kids caused trouble so I had to chastise them which took time away from the low kids who could have used that 5-10 minutes for themselves.

As teachers, we are supposed to differentiate lessons.
Here's what differentiation is:
"Differentiated instruction is a teaching theory based on the premise that instructional approaches should vary and be adapted in relation to individual and diverse students in classrooms (Tomlinson, 2001). The model of differentiated instruction requires teachers to be flexible in their approach to teaching and adjust the curriculum and presentation of information to learners rather than expecting students to modify themselves for the curriculum." (source)
Being a public school teacher, achieving success with this is terribly difficult. Limited resources, limited time, limited brain cells (mine/theirs).

That class I mentioned had about 8-10 "GT" students, 8 were "average", and 5ish were accommodated, special ed, or dyslexic.
ALL in the same room, the same 45 minutes.

Talk about difficult lesson planning! My high students were bored and my low students were stumped.

There are ways to scaffold lessons, mainly I did this by group work, and lots of it.
The high kids helped the low kids, etc.
I also modified tests, verbally reviewed lessons, and rephrased questions for my low kids.

Actually getting "higher learning levels" into their brains? Um, nope. I did my best though and I taught "average"lessons so that everyone understood.

Yes, the GT kids acted out cause of boredom but what I focused on was my low learners. They often had to struggle to understand, but that is exactly what I wanted.
I mean, if I didn't lift heavier weights every time I exercised, would I get stronger? In the same way, they must exercise their brains. I don't keep my class stagnant.

-tha angry teacher

Thoreau Thursday # 6

"The evil that men do lives after them."
-Henry David Thoreau

Every Thursday I give my kids a journal entry in which they have to respond to a quote by Thoreau. Mostly they are baffled (poor illiterate souls, God bless 'em) but today they had some good ideas to respnd with.

For instance, most kdis agreed but a few disagreed and here's why: If you tell a lie it won't affect people who live after you. If you smoke a cigarette once (as I'm typing this, two boys are going to jail for smoking pot in the bleachers today...how cliche) nothing will happen to other people because of it.

One of  the "agree" kids said that "people don't often realize what they say affects others so much"

Words of wisdom if I've ever heard any.

-tha angry teacher

so it's 1/4 into the school year...

I wanted to start blogging about my teaching year this August, promptly, when school first began, when I was living in summer-freedom bliss.

Then I forgot, and...now I've remembered.

I'm staring at a kid right now who brought a yellow balloon to class with a weird ass face painted on it. He named it "Retard". Don't you just love fourteen year olds?

I'm assuming this blog will be about the misadventures of lesson planning, teaching, and trying to fit in my random hobbies of working out, baking, music, photography, creating art, and hopefully learning Spanish (again).

A little bit about me:

This is my second year of teaching.

I teach 8th Grade English as well as Pre-AP English(first year teaching this).

I have about 100 students.

The town I live in is small, with only a Wal-Mart and Home Depot. But OMG a lady just opened a Thai Restaurant. OMG.

I love to workout. Major de-stresser. I just began lifting weights at a local gym using The New Rules of Weightlifting for Women. I love it for the most part.

I eat strange vegetarian things. And fish and sometimes occasionally chicken. I LOVE greek yogurt, nut butters, oatmeal, and apples. Don't get me started on apples.

I'm writing this in my classroom as my kids take an exam. I guess that's a "bad teacher" thing to do.


Okay, enough for now, I need to get back to erm, work...


-tha angry teacher